THOUGHTFUL ACTS OF KINDNESS
In this week’s Parsha, Chayei Sara, the Torah tells us the story of the search for a wife for Yitzchok in great detail. Our father Avraham sent his servant Eliezer to find a wife for Yitzchok. He instructed Eliezer to take a wife from his own family. He understood that this woman will be the mother of the Jewish nation and as such needed to have the Abrhamatic disposition of sensitivity to the needs of others. When Eliezer arrives at the city of Nachor he turns to HaShem with the request that HaShem guide him in finding the appropriate woman. He begins his prayer with the following introduction. “Blessed be HaShem Who has not discarded His chessed (loving kindness) and His emes (truth) from my master….”
I understand Eliezer’s request for kindness in this endeavor, but what is the function of truth in this request?
Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch writes; ‘What love is in feelings, chessed is in action. Chessed is the translation of love into action.’ Just as love is boundless, chessed too can be boundless. Emes, on the other hand, is extremely limiting. Truth cuts out every-thing that is not accurate and not appropriate.
The mix of chessed and emes produces a sophisticated form of kindness. It gives limitlessly only within the parameters of truth; a truly fine balance. Eliezer was looking for a woman of magnificent qualities but she must also have the Abrhamatic disposition. Even if she would have developed herself to become a great woman but if her natural disposition would be otherwise, such a woman would be inappropriate for Yitzchok.
The primary job description of Yitzchok’s wife was to raise her children in a way that they will become the progenitors of the nation that will bring the world to the state of perfection.
It was with this thought in mind that Avraham instructed Eliezer to take a woman only from his own home. On one side, it sounds elitist and lacking in kindness and acceptance. However, when considering the job description of Yitzchok’s wife, Avraham’s kindness must be circumspect. This is where truth meets kindness.
It is noteworthy to observe Rivka’s behavior, as well. Eliezer re-quested from HaShem that he should meet a woman whom when asked for something to drink she should respond “I will give you to drink and to your camels to drink.”
When Rivka was asked by Eliezer for a drink she responds “Drink my master” and says nothing more. Only after Eliezer finished drinking does she offer to fetch water for the camels. If Rivka was planning to drink the camels why did she not offer Eliezer to do so initially as Eliezer had asked from HaShem? The answer is that it is demeaning to equate Eliezer to the camels. By offering Eliezer to drink with no other offer, Eliezer can drink comfortably and not feel bad for inconveniencing this woman. Only after Eliezer enjoyed his drink does she offer to drink the camels.
Behold! Even in her limitless kindness Rivka does so with remarkable consideration. Rivka’s acts of kindness are not random; they are thoughtful and deliberate. Rivka is the master of mixing kindness with truth.
Given Avraham’s thoughtful consideration for the choice of his daughter in-law, we must know that within every Jew lies the capability to perform thoughtful acts of kindness as well. This is the legacy of our forebears.
Have a wonderful Shabbos.
Paysach Diskind