MORE THAN JUST VIGOROUS EXERCISE
Taken from a discussion with Rav Hopfer
Rambam writes “when one does teshuva they must recite viduy (to confess their wrongdoing) in front of HaShem” in a different place he writes “It is a mitzvah to do teshuva in front of HaShem” . In both places Rambam underscores that both teshuva and viduy must be done in front of HaShem. The implication of this detail is that the words used in the viduy reflect that one is speaking to HaShem and not simply reciting a confession to oneself.
Our Sages teach us that HaShem wanted to purify the Jewish people and therefore gave them Torah and mitzvos by which to accomplish this. HaShem does not want His people to fail in their quest for purity. Yet, He knows Man’s shortcomings and knows that Man will stumble along in this quest. To that end He created teshuva, thereby allowing those who fall to pull themselves up again and ultimately succeed. Since the purpose of teshuvah is to help us purify ourselves should it not be sufficient to do teshuva by ourselves without confronting HaShem. Take for example the doc-tor who instructs his patient to cut back on sugar because it will damage his health. If, however, he does consume too much sugar he must do a half hour of vigorous exercise to counter the impact of the sugar. Is there any purpose for the patient to do this exercise in the presence of the doctor? Should he even inform the doctor that the exercise was done? Why then must we do our teshuva in front of HaShem?
When one steals from another he rectifies his injustice by repaying him. However, when one embarrasses another, even after paying the monetary fine he has not rectified his injustice until he expresses his apology to the one he hurt. The reason for this is because when one embarrasses another he has actually diminished the other’s dignity. The only way to restore that diminished dignity is by personally asking forgiveness.
If the perpetrator feels remorse for what he did and commits him-self not to hurt his friend again, but never expresses his apology in person to his friend, he has accomplished nothing. The act of submission to which one subjects themselves when apologizing is what restores the lost dignity.
Perhaps the reason we must express our apology in person directly to HaShem is because by transgressing His mitzvah we have diminished His dignity. If we wish to do proper teshuva it must be expressed directly to HaShem and not to ourselves.
The problem is that the parallel is not accurate. My friend’s dignity is diminished by my action and I must therefore restore it. However, HaShem’s dignity is not diminished in the slightest by anything I do. If a fly lands on my nose is my dignity diminished? Even if it were, our actions are less significant than the fly’s, relative to HaShem. So, our original question returns; what is the purpose of doing teshuva in front of HaShem.
It is true, the parallel of HaShem to Man is not accurate vis-a-vis HaShem. However, from Man’s perspective it is a perfect parallel. When I recite a bracha without paying attention to my words, HaShem’s dignity has not been diminished whatsoever. How-ever, in my eyes and from my perspective I have downgraded His dignity. He has lost nothing. I am the one who lost. I lost HaShem’s dignity. In my eyes and from my actions it is evident that HaShem’s dignity has fallen. The reason I must apologize in person to HaShem is to restore HaShem’s dignity in my eyes. When the dignity of my beloved becomes tarnished, our relationship tarnishes as well. If I do not apologize in person to Him then my relationship with HaShem has diminished.
Torah and mitzvos purify Man only through the relationship that is built through them. If Man falls from his Torah and mitzvos and does teshuva to restore his relationship it must be directed towards HaShem. Only then can he restore the dignity of Ha-Shem that has diminished in his eyes.
Have a very safe and very wonderful Shabbos Shuva. Have an easy fast on Yom Kippur.
Paysach Diskind