ENTITLEMENT OR INDEBTEDNESS
In this week’s Parsha, Vayeitzei, we find the first expression of thanks in the Torah. Upon giving birth to Yehudah, Leah states that she now gives thanks to HaShem. The obvious question is why did she wait until the birth of her fourth child and not express her thanks at the birth of her first? The answer lies in the nature of ‘hodo-ah’, thanks, which derives from ‘hodah’ which means to concede, to admit or to confess. Leah felt that she somehow deserved her first three children because she knew that Yaakov was to father 12 sons from four wives. Therefore, each wife deserved three children. Once she was given a fourth child, she acknowledged that she received more than she deserved.
The attitude of the Jew is that there is nothing we can do that makes us deserving of the good we receive. We owe everything to Him and He owes nothing to us. When expressing gratitude to HaShem for all that He gives us, that expression should imply the sense that there is nothing that He really owes us. It should be a gratitude that has no reservations. Never can we imply that we are deserving of the goodness HaShem has given us.
The flipside is true as well. Everybody has challenges thrown into their paths making life difficult. When our attitude is that HaShem owes us nothing and we owe every-thing to Him, even the greatest challenge has multiple silver linings for which we can be grateful. In the worst situations we can maintain a sense of gratitude and even happiness!
How different the lessons of our Torah are from the ways of our current culture. Madison Avenue, the advertising capital of the world, teaches us that we deserve everything. We should get the vacation that we deserve, the car that we deserve, even the pillow that we deserve, etc. The notion that we deserve everything runs so contrary to the understanding of our Torah.
Immediately following Leah’s naming her child Yehudah, the Torah tells us that Leah ceased from bearing children. Sometime later she gave birth to two more children. Her cessation of birthing more children appears to be the consequence of her expression of thanks. Why should this be? Should it not be a cause to receive more blessing?
If our understanding is correct that every expression of genuine thanks indicates receiving more than we deserve and the expression itself expresses our undeservedness, then perhaps it is an act of self judgement. We have judged ourselves unworthy of HaShem’s beneficence. It is natural that once we have done such, we may incur the consequence of not receiving any more. Therefore Leah ceased from birthing more children.
So what are we to do? If we do not express that level of gratitude we will certainly be undeserving of any further beneficence. The answer is that we must certainly do as Leah did, however, we must not stop there. Our expression of gratitude must include a prayer for continued support. When Leah expressed her gratitude she did not follow with a prayer requesting continued blessing. The lesson we can learn from Leah is that must express our deepest gratitude including our undeservedness and follow that up with a prayer requesting further goodness.
There are people who have a custom at family gatherings to conclude the gathering with the following expression. ‘We thank HaShem for all that He has done for us in the past and we pray that He continue in the future.’
May we all appreciate the goodness we receive and continue receiving even more.
Have a wonderful Shabbos.
Paysach Diskind