THE GREAT BANQUET
This week the Baltimore community lost a great man. Rabbi Mendel Freedman, the principal of the Bais Yaakov Elementary School for 36 years passed away last Shabbos. How appropriate it is that this week’s Parsha, Chayei Sara, offers us the record of the life of our mother Sara. I was fortunate to have been Rabbi Freedman’s brother in-law as he was married to my dear sister.
The final chapter of the Book of Mishle (Proverbs) is the ode to the Jewish woman of virtue. As with everything in Proverbs, it is an analogy. The Jewish woman in this chapter is analogous the one who is dedicated to the service of HaKadosh baruch Hu, just as the woman of valor is dedicated in her service to her family.
There is one verse which resonates within me when thinking of Rabbi Freedman. “Strength and Splendor is her clothing and she laughs at her final day.” The final day is a reference to her last day on Earth in this life. How does fine clothing allow her to laugh at her last day? (Laughing is not a euphemism for mocking. Rather, it is an expression of celebration or rejoicing.)
I would like to share with you the words I shared at the funeral of Rabbi Freedman. Even though he passed away, our tradition teaches that the soul of the deceased is in attendance and participates in his own funeral with full cognizance. I therefore delivered my thoughts in second person since I was actually directing my words to, Mendy, as I fondly called him.
My dear brother in law, Reb Mendel Dan, you directed Bais Yaakov Elementary School for 36 years. You took over the school from Poppy z’l, a school that was dedicated to every single student. The entire school was there to serve every single girl.
Reb Mendel Dan, you took the reigns of this remarkable institution and continued BY’s legacy.
– You were completely masur (dedicated) to the school and by extension, to every single student.
– You have made a significant contribution in the development of 1000’s of students all of whom carry within them today the joy of Yiddshkeit already from their early childhood.
– You impacted 100’s of teachers, mentoring them on transmitting their joy of living a Jewish life to the children they taught.
But given all of this, your commitment to your personal family was in no way diminished.
The joy and nachas you had from every one of your children was such that one could think that there was nobody in your life other than your family when in fact there were 1000’s of students and 100’s of teachers in your life.
I want to express my gratitude to HaKadosh baruch Hu for placing me and my family in such close proximity to you, my beloved Mendy, as you traveled along your final journey in this world.
You not only taught us how to live like a Jew filled with joy, you taught me and others how to die like a Jew as well. It sounds morbid, but there really is nothing more exhilarating.
In the secular world arriving at one’s deathbed is reaching the dead end. Nothing lies ahead.
But we know that this world is but a dressing room as we prep are for the next world, the real world. This world is the place and time during which we prepare ourselves for the grand banquet that life was designed for. Mendy, you demonstrated that lesson so gracefully.
Your were completely cognizant of your condition and were even involved in your burial arrangements, and in that state of mind you asked on numerous occasions to have a kumzitz by your bed.
You told me that Reb Shraga Feivel Mendelovich asked his students to do the same around his deathbed. Reb Shraga Feivel said “I am going to meet the Ribono shel Olom, I do not want to go b’atzvus, in sadness”.
You lived your final weeks teaching all who came in contact with you that we are only in the dressing room.
Reb Mendy, you have made for yourself a fine wardrobe. Wear it well!
As I write these thoughts several days later, I realize that perhaps King Solomon had this thought in mind when he wrote this Proverb. The one who dedicates his life to HaKadosh baruch Hu creates such fine garments and can therefore rejoice and celebrate on his final day; he is now ready for The Banquet.
Have a wonderful Shabbos.
Paysach Diskind